I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
