he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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