yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
