For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
