Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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