My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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