alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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