Don't you send me to vm
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
