Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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