Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
