he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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