I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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