sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
