Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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