I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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