Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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