i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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