This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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