Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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