To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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