Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
