Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
