You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
