I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
