that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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