Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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