she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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