Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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