If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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