maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
