went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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