Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
