In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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