someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
