Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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