ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
