VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
