Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
