and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
