I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
