There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
