his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
