I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
