So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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