we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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