Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
