You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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