i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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