Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Found your dick twin last night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
