The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
