She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He? As in you personified your dick?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
