We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
