i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
