I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize