I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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