Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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