okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
