I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
