i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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