I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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