it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
