Betty ford says i'm here all night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is the high leading the old right now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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