my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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