I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
