i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
