Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
