I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
